I have written this especially to join in with Mac at Reflections of Me for her new Mummy & Me link up.
Although I went to many open days with her, I never actually thought the eldest would go to university. Whenever I considered, really considered, the possibility, I pushed it to the back of my mind and thought about something else.
Her first choice was Glasgow, about 230 miles away, 4 hours on a good run. Eventually, she was offered her second choice which turned out to be Manchester, a very doable 40 miles away. Phew!
So, on a rainy Saturday afternoon in late September , we packed the car up and dropped her off at her Halls of Residence. A cold, prison like place , with long corridors and a nasty smell. I made up the bed with her things from home and hurriedly said goodbye, reminding her that a call home every now and again would be greatly appreciated.
We made the car journey home in silence and went to bed early, unsure of how we were going to deal with our ‘new’ normal. The house was quiet, meal times became sedate affairs with the youngest no longer competing for attention. The house stayed tidy and the bathroom toiletries remained, for the most part, well stocked. It was horrible!
I had to close the door to her bedroom because I couldn’t bear to see how tidy it was, it is never tidy when she is at home. We all just danced around one another not actually saying what we were feeling, not wanting to upset anyone else.
In October, she celebrated her 19th birthday, we couldn’t get up the motorway quick enough to collect her. We went to the local pub for dinner and we all just fell back into our sarcastic, poking fun at each other, way of being. The girls constantly talked, laughed, joked and were very noisy!
A few days later, when we were walking the dog, I just said it – ‘I missed her!’ Suddenly, the three of us began to chatter and admit that it we were all feeling the same, the house was too quiet, too empty, it didn’t feel the same anymore.
From then on, we stopped being scared to tell each other, it became ok to miss her, we didn’t have to pretend we didn’t!
However, we agreed that it is fantastic that she has made it to university and was following her dream. It is amazing because she has learning challenges that I will write about one day! She has had to work so hard and continues to do so.
We are so very proud of you E and miss you everyday, but thankfully when you come home, it’s like you have never been away! Now about that room of yours…………………… X
Have a lovely day!
Into The Glade! 
Thank you so much for linking up with me, I cannot express how truly honoured I feel. I was touched by this post. I sit here missing my eldest as she is off at Camp for the school musical children. I almost wanted to cry reading this post. I am so glad you can be honest and open with one another! I went to University an hour and a half away from home simply because I craved independence. See in Australia we usually go to Uni close to home. My parents struggled, although they didn’t tell me this until I was older. They missed me and worried about me terribly. For me it was both the worst and one of the greatest times in my life. I went through a terrible ordeal, but also made life long friendships and grew up a lot. In the end I walked away with a wonderful degree. I wish your daughter every success and may her room be messy when she visits xx
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Thanks Mac. She is having a wonderful time and making lots of really great friends, she is certainly building a life. I just miss her presence terribly, but this is a very heavily edited version, she thought my first draft was too soppy, I really think she has no idea how much of a difference she makes. Thank you for hosting this lovely link up x
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Oh Lord I could have written that post!!! My daughter went off to uni in Durham nine years ago and got a job up in Newcastle when she finished. She took the life force of the house with her. We learned to live without her, but I still miss her every day. She nearly went to Glasgow too, which seemed so far away. Little did we realise our son would go to uni in Aberdeen …. now Glasgow seems round the corner!!!! He’s the one with the untidy bedroom …. he’s home for Easter now and his room is a familiar mess.
I love the few times in the year when there are four places set at the table; when the house is untidy, and full of laughter.
Enjoy your time together before term starts again xxx
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Hi Kathy, this is actually an edited version because she said my first draft was way too soppy. That is exactly what has happened, the life force went with her. She is just so happy and supportive of every one, she is definitely the peace maker but didn’t want me to say. It is only when four places are set at the table that I feel the balance is right in the house. I hope you are having a lovely Easter too with your son and making the most of the lovely weather xx
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What a wonderful post! There is nothing I can say as you wrote so eloquently and beautifully from the heart I am at a loss for words. Your daughter is obviously a wonderful lady! xx
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Oh thank you Amy! She is and I do miss her so much xx
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Ah it must be so hard when your children go off to university and that tidy room must be very strange. It must be wonderful when she is back home again though and glad that she is not so very far away – I ended up going a similar distance from home when I went to university and it was perfect – enough to be away but near enough to go home easily. Hope your daughter is enjoying being at university x
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She does absolutely love it! It is the right thing and place for her, but the gap she leaves is enormous! I simply miss her so much, she is such a little love but she is close enough to pop home. However she doesn’t too often because she works as well! So proud of her xx
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Baby is two and I am already dreading moments like this. Beautiful post my lovely xx
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It happens so quickly! I wasn’t ready! A big dose if denial I think. Thanks Aby x
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This made me so teary Lisa. I was that teenager and I didn’t give a second thought to how my family felt when I happily skipped off 400 miles away to uni. It took me the whole three years to miss them. Looking back I was so selfish- especially to my little sister who was only 9 when I left. x
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It isn’t selfish at all, it is how it is suppose to be. We just didn’t prepare ourselves or the little one, this issue is with us not the eldest. Don’t feel guilty, that is how it is suppose to be xx
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I loved reading your post, I’m still in denial that the day will come when my eldest moves away! I already hate the sight of his empty bedroom even when he goes for a sleepover or off to camp, so I shut the door on it!! Parenting is such a unique journey, there are so many wonderful stages to enjoy, but each new stage means the passing of the previous one. My husband keeps reminding me that the next phase will be as amazing as the last as long I as approach it with an open heart x
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And that is where I went wrong, I just kept avoiding it! I should have thought about and prepared myself. But to be honest it was much worse than what I actually published in the end because she had me edit it, it is horrible and I don’t think I will ever get used to it. Make the very most of them while you can and thank you for popping by X
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Hi Lisa, You must really miss her! I can’t imagine how I’ll cope when that happens to me. I am going to feel bereft. I’ll have to have another baby so I still have one at home! Lovely post and hope your daughter is doing well. Your blog is fab and you’re very close to me as I’m in Manchester. xx
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Hi, I don’t know what has happened, I have only just seen this comment so sorry! She is doing well in Manchester thank you, she absolutely loves it. I was a post graduate at MMU too, we all love Manchester. Yes make the most if your lovely son, honestly they are gone in a flash. Thank you for commenting x
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