This is quite personal today! Here goes………………………..
This is my youngest daughter she is 11. She started high school last September and will be 12 in May. It is really important to me that she is allowed to grow up at her own pace. She loves to read and write and, we are constantly being told by her teachers that she has a gift for story telling. We encourage her to go bowling, have friends for tea, enjoy sleepovers, splash in puddles and run against the wind – in essence to be a kid!
But as a parent, I find it a constant struggle to find clothes that are appropriate for her. At 11, I feel she needs to be dressed in clothes that cover her body, tops that reach her waist band and skirts that touch her knee or there abouts. I want her to be dressed in practical clothes that are ready for adventures, oh and a spot of dog walking!
Ordinarily, I shop in Next and Marks & Spencer for her, as I did for her elder sister, but it seems that the buyers for these chains don’t share my views. Instead, they believe that my 11 year old daughter wants to look as though she is 18 and ready to go clubbing at the drop of hat.
I don’t want my daughter to be dressed in such a way that causes her unwanted or sexual attention that, she is far too immature to be able to handle. I want her to feel comfortable in her clothes, feel warm, free to climb over logs or squelch through mud. I want her to look as though she is 11 and not under any pressure.
She is lucky in that she attends a school with a lot of like minded girls and, that they are encouraged to be independent thinkers. However, that isn’t to say that she is not the subject of peer pressure outside school. Nevertheless, I believe that the strong relationships and messages that she receives from us, gives her the confidence to be able to resist such pressure. She is very much her own person and that makes me proud to be her mum.
The nightmare of shopping for her doesn’t mean that I succumb to the pressure either, it just means that it is far more difficult. I really struggle and have to search high and low to route out the odd piece that fits the bill, but I will not have her childhood stolen from her.
Next don’t even carry her size in store anymore, everything has to be ordered, paid for and then returned if not suitable! I have given up almost entirely in Marks & Spencers, only underwear seems to be purchased from there nowadays. If I look hard enough, Debenhams do have the odd nugget and I have got lucky in H&M before. But it is a trial. I am dreading the Summer wardrobe shop.
If any of you have any suggestions, I would love to hear from you or if you have experienced the same.
And don’t even get me started on make up and red lipstick at 11 – yes that happens!!!!!
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I am linking up with Karen from Let Kids be Kids
Have a lovely day!
Into The Glade! 
I’m not a mum, but the stuff at Lands End looks good (http://www.landsend.co.uk/kids_landingpage/co/kids_landingpage.html) and Boden (http://www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Girls-1H-12yrs-Clothing.html)
Mind you, it does rather depend if you a tight budget as well! I do feel your pain as I see my frienr old dolled out in slightly “sexy” clothing and putting on. It makes me shudder just a little.
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I will have a look at Lands End – thank you! Our other problem is the sizing is out in a lot of shops too and she is really in an age 13. I shared this with her before I published and she said she agreed with it all, although she is a mature 11, she isn’t equipped to deal with ‘sexy’ yet and, I think, why should she have to? Oh dear, I am having a right old moan today! Thank you for helping, I will go and have a look at Lands End now X
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I see that my computer was eating my words and my comment looks as though I’m slightly illiterate. It is meant to say “my friend’s 9 year old dolled out in slightly “sexy” clothes and putting on make up” The joys of a slow computer!!
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Haha! I did guess that was what had happened because it happens to me on my laptop. 9 is so young isn’t it? I wonder if they have done it all by 12 what do they have to look forward to? Although, to be honest she isn’t that interested in make up which is good because I don’t know what I would do if she was. Thank you for commenting and you didn’t have to explain. Have a lovely day xx
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Oh my goodness, that sounds like quite a challenge. No advice I am afraid, but I really do applaud that you want your daughters to be their own people and to dress and act appropriately for their ages. They will obviously grow up to be wonderful young women with such a great Mum! Good luck with the summer shopping. Have you tried supermarkets by the way for clothes? They are well priced and have lots of choice so you might get lucky there, especially for children who are growing all the time! xx
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Hi Amy, thank you for that lovely comment, I have had a good old moan today! Yes I have looked in supermarkets, I used to get things from Tu in Sainsburys but they only go up to age 12 and they don’t fit anymore, small sizes. I will keep looking though. Thanks again X
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Oh no, we’ve yet to cross this bridge, as my daughter’s just 5, though I’ve really noticed a difference already in the clothes available for her compared to the 3-4 year old stuff – much more grown up, and I don’t want it! I hope you find somewhere suitable.
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I don’t want it either and I just think we should have a choice but the big stores don’t seem to agree. They are children for such a short space of time, I want to make the most of it and not rush her. Thank you X
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I totally agree. I have been wanting to write a similar post for ages now, just not got around to it. my girls are only 5 and already I am struggling to find appropriate clothing for them. We don’t always want party dresses, just ordinary practical ones. Everything I see in the shops is for grown up girls and I want my children to be children while they can. If you find the answer please let me know.
Thanks for sharing #LetKidsBeKids
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Oh I am so relieved that most people do seem to agree! I have struggled since she was little but it has become a nightmare now. I just think that even at 11 she is still a child and should be allowed to be one. If I have any luck, I will let you know. Thanks for commenting X
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I feel your pain! I did a blog post about the fact that I struggle to find any clothes for my 14 yr old son – not for the same reasons as yours but the fact is shops don’t seem very good at providing decent clothing on the high street for the 11-16 year old market. I am trying to think back to when my daughter was 11 but I think she pretty much lived in jeans & t-shirts!! I am totally with you, 11 year olds should be dressed as 11 year olds, not 18 year old out on the pull (if you’ll excuse the expression!) – Good luck!
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I know exactly what you mean! It’s just ridiculous isn’t it? She does end up mostly in jeans and t-shirts but even that is proving difficult now. Given the response that I have had, I think the High Street is missing a trick and you just go to show it isn’t just girl mums who are struggling! X
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This kind of issue makes me really pleased I have a boy. I know lots of my colleagues with girls who say the same that they struggle. It seems to be the more expensive brands (and mostly online), like Boden who cater best for the neutral, appropriate but still children’s clothes. Guess there’s an age limit on most though, especially if you’ve got tall children.
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She isn’t especially tall but seems to be in age 13 in most shops. Yes, we do often say that it would be easier if she was a boy but it seems that even boys struggle as they get older. I just want her to be a child for as long as possible, she will be an adult for long enough. Thank you for your comment x
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I totally agree with you. My daughter is 8 and I’ve had the same annoying problems. It’s all so tacky! Sadly the only way to find nice kids clothes that are appropriate but also fun and colourful is to buy the expensive ones – Fat Face and Boden have great girls’ clothes, traditional but cool, but I can only afford them in the sales. Let us know if you find a high street store that solves our problem! x
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You are spot on they are mostly tacky! I have always favoured traditional and classic styles, her own style icon is Audrey Hepburn so you can see where she is coming from ha! If I have any luck, I will be sure to shout it from the rooftops! BTW I love your new colours for your new house, I hope you get to move in soon. Thank you for commenting x
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I totally agree about the style of clothes these days- it all started when the Spice Girls arrived! My sister was a fan and one day little girls were wearing Laura Ashley dresses and the next they were in mini skirts!!! …god I sound old don’t I?? Hope she liked the New Look selection you chose x
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Hi Katy, yes you are right it was The Spice Girls and you don’t sound old at all. She did like most of them, now we just have to see if they fit, delivery due tomorrow! Thank you X
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